Things to be glad about

There is an old communications console next to an equally old public address
system on the bridge. Neither is used anymore since handheld radios have
become so inexpensive, so I was looking at them at 0500 this morning and
asked my watch partner, the Chief Mate, what he thought.

One console contains labeled buttons which say "forward starboard winch, aft
port winch, wing," etc. which is how the docking pilot used to tell the bow
and stern docking commands during tie-up. I thought it could be great fun,
however, to put the unused comm panel into use pranking the pirate watch
simply by pressing the button "aft port winch" and the "talk" button to say
random things, a point we were in total agreement on.

Where we disagreed was on which "talk" button to press in order to use the
old communications panel. I argued the one on the panel itself was the
correct button to use. He disagreed and believed the "talk" button on the
old PA was the correct button to use.

During our conspiratorial debate buttons were pressed and things were said,
including "good morning, America" and "donkey," amongst other things.
Laughingly, we amused ourselves with the what-if scenario of our prank
messages going across the public address system- which would have piped
"good morning, America" and "donkey" onto every floor of the ship.

About 5 seconds later the Old Man came on the bridge and asked us "What in
fuck are you doing?!" Apparently, it didn't pipe "good morning, America,"
"donkey," or the various other things onto each floor... it piped it into
every single ROOM of the ship. Heads, offices, sleeping quarters... the
Captain's quarters. He had a hard time not laughing at us as we squirmed
and became unbelievably contrite and embarrassed.

People keep giving me looks - some dirty, some incredulous, most with an
undercurrent of amusement. I can't even look at the Cheif Mate, though,
without snorting with laughter. Even the cadets are giving us looks that
say "dumbass." Mostly, I am just glad I wasn't pressing the PA button when
I imitated an Islamic pirate and parodied the jihadists' "Akbar Allah! La
la la la la!" into the mic.